Walking with you

A little over 5 years ago, I took one of the most important walks of my life.  On my Daddy's arm, in the dress my Momma made for me, I slowly walked down that beautiful church aisle to the love of my life.  I walked slowly, wanting to savor every second of that day; at the same time, it was everything I could do not to run into his arms!  Later, we walked around Baker park as our photographers did some shots of us. 

Since that day, we've walked a lot.  For 3 years in the city, we walked almost every evening, not always with a destination in mind (although we did frequent the local coffee and ice cream shops!).  We've walked through almost 30 homes for sale in the process of buying both of our homes.  We've paced the halls of the L&D unit in the hospital, eagerly awaiting the birth of our little ones.  We've paced the halls with those little ones at the wee hours of the night in those first early weeks. 

I can't wait to see what other walks we get to take, my dear.  Thank you for walking with me, leading me, yet always being right by my side.  I love you.

A big night for a big boy!

 Well, we did it.  This momma's heart was not anywhere near ready, and I thought my "baby" boy might be in a crib until he was three, but tonight we took the front off and put on his toddler rail.  He's been climbing EVERYTHING recently thanks to Fireman Sam introducing the concept of fire poles.  He climbs the banister, jumps off chairs and sofas, and even has recently been telling me he's going to climb the lamp.  Luckily he hasn't tried that one yet. 

This morning, I found him in his sister's crib after I finished blowdrying my hair, then he climbed out, and then back in.  So we decided, before he gets the idea to climb out of his own crib and breaks something in the process, we would just move him into the toddler bed!

Pretty excited about this change!!

Lookin' a little sleepy.

Hmm, maybe he will hurt himself on this one anyway!  It sure didn't take him long to decide he wants to "ride it like a horsey".  At least I'm pretty sure he won't break anything doing this. 

All tucked in and ready for some sleep! It's about an hour and a half later and we haven't heard a peep yet!  We did decide to move the monitor in there for tonight at least.  

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Our boy is getting awfully big!  Next week = potty training.  This momma is far more intimidated by that idea!

Perhaps I just don't trust enough.

When it comes to my kiddos and their safety, I tend to fall into the slightly paranoid category of momma.  Okay, maybe more than just slightly.  My sister often teases me, saying it's really okay for them to have room to breathe while they are strapped into their carseats.  I was laughing earlier to myself as I thought about one of these conversations and I thought "It's because I know too much, I've seen too much".  Then I thought about it, and I am pretty sure it's just not true.  Because you see, my sister has seen plenty.  I know she could tell just as many stories of tragedies she's heard of or even in families she's known.

Maybe the issue lies in my own heart.  Perhaps I just don't trust enough.  Truly trust. If I did, I would be more at peace knowing that the lives of my family and my children in particular lie in the more than capable hands of my Jesus!  Worrying about what will happen if Taylor rolls on her side (instead of being on her back - gasp!) while she's sleeping, or what happens if my husband's plane crashes will not keep these events from happening if that is what is in His will.  I know that, I truly do.  But apparently I haven't set my heart enough on believing it, letting it sink into my heart and giving me peace.  Psalm 20:7 says "Some trust in chariots and some in horses, but we trust in the name of the Lord our God".  Jesus, help me to trust in You, not in the straps on my carseats and the fact that my baby girl sleeps on her back!

That being said, I will still sleep my babies on their backs, strap them tight in their carseats, and will probably keep them rear-facing longer than others might.  But, I hope to do so because I believe it's wise, not out of a fear of what will happen if I don't protect them enough.  Because I can't.  I can't protect them from what may hurt them.  Only Jesus can keep my babies breathing, and I believe that He will, until the day that it is time for them to go home with Him, and nothing I do or don't do will change that. 

Our growing girl

I'm taking a brief interruption from our delivery story to update you all on how that little girl is doing  :)  Never fear, I will finish it one day, I promise.  At this point, I think you're all more interested in what she's doing now than what happened 6 weeks ago anyways!  Can't say that I blame you.

6 weeks!!  Craziness.  I can't believe that she's already 6 weeks old.  On one side it feels like it couldn't possibly be that long ago, but it also feels like we've known her forever, and it's getting harder and harder to remember life without her here.  (Although sometimes in the crazy moments of adjusting to two, it feels awfully easy to remember life with one!) 

Well, here are her growth stats and some pictures along the way.

Day 1: 7 lbs. 3 ozs. 19 1/4 inches

Day 3: 6 lbs. 13 ozs.

1 week: 7 lbs. 6 ozs. 19 1/2 inches

3 weeks: 8 lbs. 11 ozs

 

Bath time is by far her favorite activity!

4 weeks

I love her sweet little folded hands in this one :)

5 weeks

 Far happier during tummy time than her brother ever was!

6 weeks: 10 lbs. 8 ozs., 22 inches long

She's doing so well, and has been such a wonderful addition to our family!  I love having pink all around our house now, having my own little "buddy" when Danny and Logan go to do fun things, and getting all those wonderful infant snuggles again.  She smiled at us for the first time this week.  Such a wonderful thing, especially for two very sleepy parents!  It's so nice to get some emotion other than screaming out of your newborn, and it's such a blessing for it to come around week 6, when this whole getting up at night thing is starting to get old.  She is SO much more awake and alert than Logan was, and so much stronger!  He was rather content to lie with his head on our shoulder until about 4 months old I think  :)  This little girl is far more interested in what is going on around her...which makes naps a little more interesting, but it's fun to see a little bit of her personality even now. 

And I'll share this last one with you....horrible picture, I know.  But just so you know her most frequent activity, and can know one of the most common parts of my life right now.  :)

A doctor's appointment, prenatal massage, and a...baby?! (Part 2)

Ahh, where was I?  Oh that's right...walking out of the spa feeling far more relaxed than I had in months!

I headed back to the doctor's office, preparing myself for no change and figuring I'd be headed home in a half hour or so.  Since I was running a little bit late, I decided I'd just stop for lunch on the way home (it was about 1 o'clock at this point).  This right here folks, this decision was the biggest mistake, and my only regret from that day!  Since my stomach was already growling, it wasn't a great start to what ended up being another 8 hours without food!

Anyways, I went in, sat in the waiting room for a few minutes, still feeling very calm and figuring nothing would have changed.  I mean, it would be too good to be true.  But, it also would be a whole lot earlier than we had planned, and I kind of hoped our girl would have a little more time to "cook" before she made her grand entrance!  I just wasn't "feeling" any different.  It really felt just like a normal appointment, another normal day, and I was ready to go home to see my little man.  So...when my doctor checked me again and then asked "So you ready to have this baby?" I was more than a little caught off guard!  She informed me that I had progressed to almost 6cm, and she had no intentions of sending me home to Frederick like this!  When she walked out, I texted Danny to start packing and I'd call in a minute.  I headed out to the car, still feeling like this was all just a little bit surreal!

I sat in my car and made several phone calls...Danny to talk through what needed to come from the house, my sister-in-law Julia to ask if she was available for Logan, and then had a nice chat with my sister Lissa just because!  I rummaged around my car to see what was there to eat and found a granola bar...not nearly enough calories for my grumbly tummy!!  But, it would have to do.

Then came one of the strangest moments of the day.  I had stalled as long as I could, and it was time to go in.  This was not what I had imagined, in any way, shape or form!  When I thought about the day our daughter would arrive, and all the different "going to the hospital" scenarios I could come up with, not one of them included walking into the hospital by myself, knowing that my husband was still an hour away!!

But I did.  I parked my car, walked into the ER, and then walked up through the hospital to L&D, checked myself in, and the adventure continues...

Wow...time for baby girl to eat again, and for this momma to head to bed!  More to come...again!  Sorry folks, you will hear the whole story one day I promise!

Silly boy

The silliness that transpired during our prayer before dinner tonight. 
Danny: "Thank you Jesus"
Logan: "Kank oo Jeus"
Danny: "For dinner"
Logan: "Or dinner"
Danny: "And Mommy"
Logan: "Mommy"
Danny: "And Daddy"
Logan: "Daddy"
Danny: "And Taylor"
Logan: "Apple juice, Amen!"

Not sure where we've gone wrong...it was really seeming like he liked her!

A doctor's appointment, prenatal massage, and a...baby?! (Part 1)

So, I never intended to wait this long to write this blog!  From the moment our little girl entered this world, I've wanted to write down what happened that day before I forgot.  No matter how much I try to cement these memories in my mind, I know that they will not stay as fresh as I wish they would, and in time, I will forget precious parts.  Forgive me for the length of this, as it's partially for whoever cares to read, and also for us to remember how it all happened.  Also, so you have fair warning, this is a birth story, and I won't be graphic at all, but it is a BIRTH story, and the nature of it makes it a little hard to share details without it being somewhat specific!  There you go, there's your warning.  ;)   

 It started out just like most other mornings these days.  Not great sleep the night before, time in the middle of the night spent reading books and keeping up with facebook on my iTouch while still in bed, thinking about our girl and wondering when she'd be here.  Hoping and praying for a healthy baby girl, and hoping she wouldn't be too big because of the gestational diabetes I had. 
   Contractions started around 6am, also a normal part in my nighttime routine!  Now I know that everybody talks about the 5-1-1 rule (contractions 5 minutes apart, lasting for a minute, for at least an hour) and how that means you should go to the hospital.  But you see, with both of my babies, I started having contractions early, and towards the end, if I'm having any regularity to my contractions, they fall within this rule.  If I went in every time they were like that, we'd have an awful lot of extra medical bills, and spend a whole lot of nights in L&D!  So, I wasn't paying much extra attention to them, especially because I had a doctor's appointment that morning. 
   Danny's mom was kind enough to drive all the way down here to watch Logan for me while I went to Towson that morning.  Because you see, the plan was to head to the doctor at 10:20, and then head to the spa for a prenatal massage thanks to a gift card from my SIL, then head home in time to put Logan down for a nap!  Needless to say, that's not exactly what happened. 
   At the doctor, she checked and said that I was 4cm, and since that was progression from 2.5 the week before, she wanted me to stay in the area and come back after lunch.  (My doctor is in Towson, 45 minutes away from home.) She said if I was still 4, even if I was still contracting, I could go home, and if I was more, I'd stay.  When I left, I called Danny to warn him that he would have to head home for a bit so his Mom could leave for work since I'd be a little bit later, but that it shouldn't be for more than a half hour or so. 
   Then I headed into the spa for my massage.  Brief aside here...prenatal massages are incredible, and I think they should be covered by health insurance for every pregnant woman past about 20 weeks!  Looking back, it was such a gift from the Lord meant to be for me on that specific day!  I had tried several other times to use that gift card.  There were three other times that I had an appointment scheduled that I had to cancel for various reasons.  The hour I spent in that room was such a wonderful blessing.  It was quiet, peaceful, and I HAD to relax.  I have quiet in my life, but it's usually quiet at home, when it is still so easy to be distracted by the to-do list, facebook, or any other number of things.  That hour, I spent time just praying for our girl, that she would be healthy and arrive just in His perfect timing.  I prayed for her future, her character, and her safety getting here.  I prayed for my heart and mind, that He would protect me from anxiety about delivery, impatience and frustration with the inconveniences of pregnancy, and worry about my little man and what this would change for our relationship.  I prayed for my little boy, that he would do well with family while we were in the hospital and that he would adjust well to the new little girl in our life.  I thanked Him for my wonderful husband and his love and care for me during these months!  He so graciously serves me when I'm pregnant, everything from carrying laundry baskets to 2am juice/snack runs!  I also found myself talking to our girl, telling her how much I loved her and couldn't wait to meet her, telling her to come just when she was ready, telling her all about her room and family waiting for her.  It was bliss.  So wonderful. 


More to come soon...

Happles and babies

At least once a day right now, we've been trying to have some short conversation with Logan about his little sister's impending arrival, reminding him that I'll be going to the hospital when she comes out, and he'll get to come see us and then we'll bring her home.  Usually these conversations are sparked by some mention of the baby equipment around the house.  The other time it comes up is before naptime or bedtime when he's sitting on my lap snuggling and she starts pushing him around!

I wasn't surprised a few days ago when he asked to bring her ultrasound picture from the fridge upstairs with him, and we started chatting about it.  While we were chatting, he started telling me about the "happles", and "baby out", and "hug kiss".  The latter two phrases I got, but I was awfully confused about the "happles"!  I couldn't figure out what apples had to do with her, or how he had made this connection.  When I asked him if he was saying apples, he just kept saying "No mommy, happles".  Okay...still not getting it.  Finally he said "grandma happles", and I realized that he was saying hospital!!  I said "Oh!!  You mean hospital?"  He grinned at me and said "Yes Mommy" as if that really is exactly how it sounded coming out of his mouth and I really was the less intelligent one here. 

Then as I put him in his crib with his baby sister's picture and frame, he insisted that "baby sit nap".  Thinking he meant for me to sit on his little couch while he napped, I said no, and he thrust the frame through the crib slats, and repeated it.  Ahh, I get it.

So, all in all...my little boy's current thoughts about his baby Taylor consist of "Mommy happles, baby out, hug kiss" (Mommy goes to the hospital for baby to come out, I come and hug and kiss her), and "Baby sit nap" and his little picture frame is still sitting on his couch, watching over him while he naps  :) 

Silly boy.

These days

A little over two years ago my life changed drastically, beyond what I ever could have imagined, the day my little man was born.  For the last two years, we've spent all our days together, with him as my constant companion, no matter where I am (bathroom included!).

These days, I spend a lot of time thinking about just how much our lives are about to change again when Taylor is born.  There's a lot to be done before she gets here, and it's easy to get lost in the busyness of preparations for her.  But when I sit and really think about it, my heart feels really torn!  I am so incredibly excited to meet our little girl, to do the "baby thing" again, and for Logan to have a little sister.  However, I also know that the special time I've had with my boy is coming to an end.  No longer will he have my full attention as much as he does now.

This is probably going to sound crazy, and I know I'm a little overly sentimental at times, but sometimes it almost feels like I'm cheating on him!  It's just been us for so long now, and it feels weird to think about another one.  I love her so much already, but at the same time, I can't imagine loving another one as much as I love him!  He's my little boy, my baby!  Like I said, I know this sounds completely crazy, but it is what goes on in my head.

So, I'll spend the next several weeks rocking him just a little longer, playing just a little more, seeing how many giggles I can get out of him, because I know our time as just us is short. If our entire house isn't as clean as it was when Logan was born, or if we're not 1000% prepared for her, it's okay.  I'd rather cherish the time I have before Taylor's arrival rocks his little world.  

Searching for...simplicity?

So, I'm not exactly sure what it is I'm searching for this year, but consistency might be a better word.  I'm craving a little more routine in our lives.  Well, in my life.  There are several areas where I'm hoping this will play out!

My first and highest priority is consistency in my time spent with my Jesus.  This has always been an area where I struggle, even though I know the importance of it and see the results of it in my life!  This year I am again planning to read through the Bible in a year, and have been going for 4 days strong so far by His grace.  I'm already noticing a change in my heart and attitude today, and finding the Lord reminding me of His grace when I am feeling impatient or short with Logan.

Secondly, I'm looking forward to finding (or re-finding I guess?) consistency in how and when I care for our home.  Since we've moved to Frederick, our life has slowed down significantly, which I am so grateful for!  But somehow I still struggle to find/make time to clean our house.  Entering the first trimester of pregnancy very soon after moving made it a little difficult to ever really settle into a routine here.  Then I was sick for a large portion of my second trimester as well (non pregnancy related).  However, as I've entered the third trimester, I'm feeling more energetic and also beginning to nest a little as well I think!  I spent a while today recreating a weekly cleaning/chore routine and am looking forward to putting it into motion!  I'll work on the monthly and quarterly type things once I get into the swing of things with this schedule.  The time for monthly and quarterly type projects is going to be taken up right now with getting things ready for Taylor anyway. 

I'm trying to be sure that I don't overwhelm myself with plans that I can't achieve.  I'm starting pretty slow for sure!  One of the sites I looked at for some information was flylady.net.  While there is a lot of helpful information, I know that at least in this season of my life, getting the sink clean once or twice a day is challenging enough, much less drying/shining my sink each time I put anything in it!  I just know I won't do it.  She (and many others) also suggest getting up and getting ready all the way (shoes, hair done, makeup, etc.) right away.  Right now, getting some extra sleep is far more necessary for me!  Pregnancy and sleep don't really coincide for me, and the extra hour or so I would need in the morning to do these things and have a quiet time before Logan's up is just really more needed to be spent in bed!  Later this year, when she's here and we've found a little more of a sleep routine, I do look forward to returning to this habit. 

It's been nice to live more simply with our schedule the last several months, but instead of just ending up bored and feeling slightly purpose-less, I'm looking forward to really staying on top of our home, having less evenings where we go out simply because I didn't have what I needed for dinner, or didn't think about it.  I'm hoping to spend more time keeping a clean house instead of simply cleaning my house and always feeling behind. 

What about you?  Do you have any cleaning/chore routine that you do that helps you stay on top of things?