A little over two years ago my life changed drastically, beyond what I ever could have imagined, the day my little man was born. For the last two years, we've spent all our days together, with him as my constant companion, no matter where I am (bathroom included!).
These days, I spend a lot of time thinking about just how much our lives are about to change again when Taylor is born. There's a lot to be done before she gets here, and it's easy to get lost in the busyness of preparations for her. But when I sit and really think about it, my heart feels really torn! I am so incredibly excited to meet our little girl, to do the "baby thing" again, and for Logan to have a little sister. However, I also know that the special time I've had with my boy is coming to an end. No longer will he have my full attention as much as he does now.
This is probably going to sound crazy, and I know I'm a little overly sentimental at times, but sometimes it almost feels like I'm cheating on him! It's just been us for so long now, and it feels weird to think about another one. I love her so much already, but at the same time, I can't imagine loving another one as much as I love him! He's my little boy, my baby! Like I said, I know this sounds completely crazy, but it is what goes on in my head.
So, I'll spend the next several weeks rocking him just a little longer, playing just a little more, seeing how many giggles I can get out of him, because I know our time as just us is short. If our entire house isn't as clean as it was when Logan was born, or if we're not 1000% prepared for her, it's okay. I'd rather cherish the time I have before Taylor's arrival rocks his little world.
4 comments:
The comment about "bathroom included" had me giggle. For the longest time I took showers with Liam sitting in the bathroom in his carseat and now I take them with him in the bathroom in his exersaucer...LOL.
That does not sound crazy at all. One of the first thoughts I had after having Liam was "how do people have more than one; how do they do it an not feel like they are cheating?" Or maybe we're both crazy ;P
I pray that these next weeks a special for you and Logan and that you will continue to have special moments with just him after you welcome your little girl.
Darn, made me cry with the comments about rocking him a little longer, etc. Thanks girl! I don't think it sounds crazy at all. I think it is probably a bittersweet time, however, how he deals with not having your undivided attention may not be great either! I can't wait to meet Taylor and see how cute she is!
I know I can't really relate to the only having one child, but I can totally relate to the torn feeling of not being able to devote all of your attention on a single child. That's all I have ever known, and while it can be challenging sometimes, I know you will do a great job with it because you are an awesome mommy! You know you have a lot of love to give but I think many parents have those same fears before welcoming a new baby to the family. In one of the twin books I read, it said that twins don't plan on being born together and therefore still need all the same attention that a single baby does...I remember reading that and thinking "yeah, but there still is only one Mom here...way to make me feel guilty." I definitely don't have the answers to how to make that feeling go away, because I still feel that way at times, but I try to remind myself that I am doing the best that I can, and giving them all the love I can must be enough or God wouldn't have given me two at once!
Thanks for your encouragement ladies!! I'm sure it will all be fine, after all, she's coming either way! Just some bittersweet times :)
Post a Comment