Perhaps I just don't trust enough.

When it comes to my kiddos and their safety, I tend to fall into the slightly paranoid category of momma.  Okay, maybe more than just slightly.  My sister often teases me, saying it's really okay for them to have room to breathe while they are strapped into their carseats.  I was laughing earlier to myself as I thought about one of these conversations and I thought "It's because I know too much, I've seen too much".  Then I thought about it, and I am pretty sure it's just not true.  Because you see, my sister has seen plenty.  I know she could tell just as many stories of tragedies she's heard of or even in families she's known.

Maybe the issue lies in my own heart.  Perhaps I just don't trust enough.  Truly trust. If I did, I would be more at peace knowing that the lives of my family and my children in particular lie in the more than capable hands of my Jesus!  Worrying about what will happen if Taylor rolls on her side (instead of being on her back - gasp!) while she's sleeping, or what happens if my husband's plane crashes will not keep these events from happening if that is what is in His will.  I know that, I truly do.  But apparently I haven't set my heart enough on believing it, letting it sink into my heart and giving me peace.  Psalm 20:7 says "Some trust in chariots and some in horses, but we trust in the name of the Lord our God".  Jesus, help me to trust in You, not in the straps on my carseats and the fact that my baby girl sleeps on her back!

That being said, I will still sleep my babies on their backs, strap them tight in their carseats, and will probably keep them rear-facing longer than others might.  But, I hope to do so because I believe it's wise, not out of a fear of what will happen if I don't protect them enough.  Because I can't.  I can't protect them from what may hurt them.  Only Jesus can keep my babies breathing, and I believe that He will, until the day that it is time for them to go home with Him, and nothing I do or don't do will change that.