Merry Christmas everyone!

Merry Christmas everyone!

Mason update

Hey everyone,

Thank you for your prayers for this little guy! He is still in the ICU, but a lot of his labs and cultures are coming back negative at this point. Right now his kidneys are the highest concern. They are functioning at about 1/4-1/3 of normal capacity, causing all the swelling and discomfort. They think this is caused by the numbers of antibiotics he has been on in recent weeks/months. Hopefully through several different things they're doing right now they can pull some of this extra fluid off of him, and he will begin to recover quickly.

Thank you for your continued prayers!!

Plead for prayer

Some of you have heard about the little boy Mason from my NICU from last year. This is just a message asking for urgent prayer for him. He is in the ICU at Hopkins right now, with lots of bleeding, fluid, swelling, low blood sugar and even some seizing this morning. I don't have much information at this point, but his mom just called and asked for prayer. He is really not doing well at all. He is one sick little boy with a very tired little body, and they are a very tired set of parents!

Please please please pray. I will let you know when I know anything else - probably not until tomorrow.

One whole year

It's been a year. A YEAR!! One whole year since we welcomed our dear sweet little boy into this world, and our lives were changed forever. I have so many fun memories of this past year, some definite challenges, and a certain level of nervousness to go along with all of it!




My sweet little Logan, although I've had twenty three years without you, and only one with you, I can't imagine not having you here with us. You have brought so much joy to our lives, with your sweet little smiles, goofy little faces, and all the funny things you do. One year ago today you came into our lives, and we will never be the same. It is an honor and a joy to be your momma, and although I don't feel worthy of it at all, I am grateful that God has given me this opportunity.

I miss the days where we snuggled on the couch for hours upon hours, with your tiny body tucked on my chest. I miss those first smiles that we had to work so hard for!! But I wouldn't trade them for the hundreds of smiles I get every day now, and how sweet each little voluntary snuggle is. I miss your "baby days", but I love watching you grow, learn and explore. You're turning into a little toddler now, and while that is a tiny bit sad, it is such a joy to watch your personality unfold. I am so grateful that God has given you to us and kept you safe, we love you so much.

Thank you for being such a good sweet little boy, for knowing somehow just when your Momma needs a little snuggle and kiss, for making us laugh so much, and for being just enough not perfect to keep me on my toes, helping me daily to remember that I cannot do this in my strength. We love you our sweet boy.

The terrible horrible no good very bad day, and Philippians 4:13

Warning: Long post ahead!!

Maybe it started with the baby that woke up screaming at 7:30 instead of talking and playing, like normal. Maybe it started with the 2 night shifts over the weekend, and then not really sleeping well yesterday or last night. Maybe it started a month ago, when my baby boy got sick and hasn't quite been right for a long time now. Maybe, just maybe, it started with my own selfishness and agenda of what I thought my day should/would look like.

As I just mentioned, Logan has been sick, teething, or both for a solid month now. We have not had more than 2 days without a fever, and just when I think he's getting better, he gets worse again. I've wrestled with how much to do, what to take him to, what to stay away from, etc. We can't stay locked up in this house until he has all his teeth, we'll both go crazy. He's happier when we're out at least a little bit, as am I! However, when we're home, he's been very fragile, temperamental, almost just downright moody. And I don't blame him! He feels rotten. He's got a snotty nose, teeth coming through, a fever, no balance (because of all the fluid in his head) and as of Sunday, a busted fat lip (due to the no balance!).

Needless to say, I am tired. I'm tired from working and not sleeping well. Tired from getting up with him in the middle of the night again, and to be honest, I'm tired of the whining and meltdowns! Mostly, I'm tired of him not feeling well and not being able to fix it.

So, today...today's plans were supposed to look like this: Bible study this morning, followed by a trip to the grocery store on the way home, a nice afternoon nap for Logan, and maybe even for me, then dinner and finishing off the day with caregroup.

However, today looked like this: Logan started running a fever again last night and woke up screaming twice last night and then again this morning. None of us slept well last night, and with him still being really fussy, Bible study got taken off the schedule for the day. I put him down for his morning nap and he proceeded to talk/whine/play/cry in his crib for an hour and a half. I finally gave in and decided he'd get up, we'd go to the store, and then just take one long nap today instead. The store was wonderful...crazy, I know. He was in a fantastic mood - singing and doing his cute little lip trills the whole stinkin' time. Adorable. We came home, got groceries inside, I gave Logan a bottle and he went to sleep. Perfect! I made snack for caregroup, ate lunch, and cleaned up a little bit, went upstairs with what should have been 2 hours left in his nap, so I was going to get to nap too! Do you think it happened? My little man woke up exactly 4 minutes after I laid down, and wanted nothing to do with going back to sleep. So...I gave up on that. After an okay afternoon, I tried again for another nap around 3:45. Dinner was ready to go in the oven, so I was going to lay down for an hour or so too! NOT! He wouldn't sleep. Scratch that off the list. We decided that Logan and I would stay home tonight from caregroup so he could go to bed on time, and I could chill out a little bit as well. He did, and I cleaned the kitchen and a little bit of pickup upstairs just in time to watch NCIS at 8. Then, it was the last straw for me. Taking my brand new fall decoration off the table to wipe it down, one of the hurricanes hit the chair and fell to the floor, shattering into...literally...thousands of pieces.

My pretty decoration minus one hurricane :(

I sat down in my kitchen and cried!! I thought..."I just can't do any more!! Now I have to vaccuum and mop the whole downstairs so Logan doesn't find any glass in his little hands when he's crawling around." I found glass from my front door all the way to my kitchen sink.

Somewhere in the middle of my own internal meltdown and temper tantrum, the Lord brought this verse to mind. "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me" ~ Philippians 4:13. All day I've been thinking...I can't do it, I can't stay awake, I can't discipline him one more time, I can't fight him through one more diaper change, I can't do one more load of dishes, etc. WHAT?! I CAN!! There is no reason whatsoever that I can't do these things. I have a Jesus that gives me the strength and grace to do one more thing, one more time, with one more attitude check.

So...I'm feeling a little defeated since it took me until 9 o'clock tonight to recognize this horrendous attitude I've had all day. I'm feeling like a bad momma who had a rotten attitude with my sick little boy all day. I'm feeling like a wife who should have been far more cheerful this evening than I was. And...I'm feeling convicted that my attitude was as awful as it was, and all for really minor circumstances. There are people, lots of them, out there today in far worse places, dealing with far harder things, and I have been so nasty all day! But, I'm trying to remind myself of Christ's forgiveness and grace, both of which I do not deserve. I'm thanking God for reminding me of His strength, and giving me the strength to mop the house and get through the rest of my evening. And I'm praying for a better tomorrow.

Sorry for the long rambling post, my brain is not functional enough to get more concise!! And sorry for the bad pictures, they're from my cell phone

This boy...

likes to shake his booty!




Our little man loves his music, that's for sure!! He's such a goof. Sorry it's not the best quality, it's from his daddy's cell phone. Still pretty funny though.

His first little "tooph"

Every once in a while, when Logan starts to act a little strange, I mention it to Danny, and a few times recently he's responded with a very sarcastic "Maybe he's getting teeth!" Apparently I've said and thought this too many times.

However, last weekend he finally did. The day he turned 10 months old, he was chewing on my finger when I felt a little something sharp, and there it is!

He's been such a good boy with these teeth. I can tell he doesn't feel good, and he frequently looks concerned about it. As you can see from the pictures, he's aware that something is different, because he's fooling around with his tongue all the time. but he's been so tough!

Such a cutie :)